I'm monged, driving back from a mate's house. The ipod is on shuffle. I don't wanna listen to any of this, it's way too cold. I skip every song for about a minute until 'Search and Destroy'. How fucking ace is that guitar sound!? That glorious noise! The overdrive, the chaos, the precision! I clench up inside my gilet, a stoned half gurn on my jaw... this is fucking incredible!!
I don't wanna stop driving, I don't wanna turn but if I don't I'm gonna end up penetrating that wall . My whole body is a hard on. I want to fuck that wall with my steely wheeled beast. I want to destroy everything. I feel like a 6 stringed bitch on heat. THIS IS TOO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Sharpteeth on: Hygiene
Pet Hygiene Hate: stray hairs.
So I'll shave or trim the beard or whatever is needed and I'll do it in a rush or a haze or whatever and I'll find myself out with that stray upper lip hair that tickles my cheek dimple when i laugh and can't help but be annoyingly aware. When the lower lip hair (the 'soul patch' if you will) gets unruly, this can usually be tamed by sucking in the lower lip, pinning the offending hair/s with the top lip and chomp-snipping the strays with front teeth. It's not perfect but it works.
However, when the offending hairs are half way across your face, far out of the limited T-rex jab reach of one's teeth, it's Houston. Thank Bowie i carry a mini grooming kit in my bag.
"What are the contents?" I hear you ask. I'll give you a run down...
- Mini emery board. For the gent who has decided against the pain and bloodiness of having bitten his nails too short but would like to keep his nails a suitable length to be able to play guitar comfortably.
- Tweesers. Shit quality but handy for those nose hairs that tickle when you breathe and other random annoyances.
- Metal nail file. It was just in the little case. Handy for when you need something kinda long and pointy to jam/pick/whatever something. Appaling as a nail file of any sort.
-Victorinox mini Swiss Army Knife. This bad boy has a mini knife, mini decorative nail file, mini scissors, little red light and a tooth pick (with which I ate my melon earlier as the office has seemingly forsaken forks).
Every time I start up a new blog (which is twice now) I seem to have to start by being horribly metrosexual.
Anyways, I trimmed the stray hairs. I'm just paranoid now.
And now a hygiene tip. People overlook this one simple thing that is as essential as carrying a condom in your wallet. The wet wipe. You know the type, the little square freebie you get with every greasy meal. I can't tell you how many times I've been saved by one of these.
You accidentally touch dog shit on your shoe, you pull out the wipe.
You get messy when you're getting sexy. You're out of toilet roll. Uh-oh... pull out the wipe!
You take a particularly nasty number 2 and you're wearing white boxers. Oh shit. Wait... pull out the wipe!
See? A million handy uses.
So I'll shave or trim the beard or whatever is needed and I'll do it in a rush or a haze or whatever and I'll find myself out with that stray upper lip hair that tickles my cheek dimple when i laugh and can't help but be annoyingly aware. When the lower lip hair (the 'soul patch' if you will) gets unruly, this can usually be tamed by sucking in the lower lip, pinning the offending hair/s with the top lip and chomp-snipping the strays with front teeth. It's not perfect but it works.
However, when the offending hairs are half way across your face, far out of the limited T-rex jab reach of one's teeth, it's Houston. Thank Bowie i carry a mini grooming kit in my bag.
"What are the contents?" I hear you ask. I'll give you a run down...
- Mini emery board. For the gent who has decided against the pain and bloodiness of having bitten his nails too short but would like to keep his nails a suitable length to be able to play guitar comfortably.
- Tweesers. Shit quality but handy for those nose hairs that tickle when you breathe and other random annoyances.
- Metal nail file. It was just in the little case. Handy for when you need something kinda long and pointy to jam/pick/whatever something. Appaling as a nail file of any sort.
-Victorinox mini Swiss Army Knife. This bad boy has a mini knife, mini decorative nail file, mini scissors, little red light and a tooth pick (with which I ate my melon earlier as the office has seemingly forsaken forks).
Every time I start up a new blog (which is twice now) I seem to have to start by being horribly metrosexual.
Anyways, I trimmed the stray hairs. I'm just paranoid now.
And now a hygiene tip. People overlook this one simple thing that is as essential as carrying a condom in your wallet. The wet wipe. You know the type, the little square freebie you get with every greasy meal. I can't tell you how many times I've been saved by one of these.
You accidentally touch dog shit on your shoe, you pull out the wipe.
You get messy when you're getting sexy. You're out of toilet roll. Uh-oh... pull out the wipe!
You take a particularly nasty number 2 and you're wearing white boxers. Oh shit. Wait... pull out the wipe!
See? A million handy uses.
first light of a new day
AKA first blog on a new site.
So I've migrated from wordpress (http://sharpteeth.wordpress.com/) only to find that someone has stolen my name here on blogspot (http://sharpteeth.blogspot.com/. What's worse is that they haven't written since new year's eve 2003. Grrr...
Never mind.
On with the grind...
So I've migrated from wordpress (http://sharpteeth.wordpress.com/) only to find that someone has stolen my name here on blogspot (http://sharpteeth.blogspot.com/. What's worse is that they haven't written since new year's eve 2003. Grrr...
Never mind.
On with the grind...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
